Here it is, the Vetoed Christmas Show. Before you read this and think I am completely insane, you should know what the goals for this show were. Darren told me that he wanted some audience participation. I assumed this would be little kid stuff, but Darren told me this would be for banquets, so audiences would be mostly adults. I told him I didn’t have an idea for a participation bit for adults, and his suggestion was, “maybe do something with a girl.” Without further ado,
The DKers’ Christmas Special
The DKers’ Christmas Special
Intro stuff
K: … and we are so excited for our Christmas Show. What should we do first?
D: I’m pretty sure that “Joyful Joyful” is the closest thing we have to a Christmas song, so we might as well start there.
Joyful Joyful (Chinese Yo-yo)
K: Now, I’m pretty sure we can do better than that.
D: What are you talking about I thought it was fine.
K: Yeah, but surely we can do something a little more Christmas-y. Come on pick out your favorite Christmas song.
D: Ok, this has been in my head lately
Please Come Home for Christmas (Cigar Boxes)
K: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, what are you doing? We can’t do a show based on the idea of being sad and alone at Christmas. We need something upbeat.
D: Yeah, I know, but it’s just that this is the worst time of year to be single.
K: Lightbulb! I know what we are going to do. We are going to kill two birds with one stone.
D: huh?
K: I am going to teach you how to meet a girl in a Christmas-y way.
D: That makes no sense. First off, you don’t know anything more about girls than me.
K: True, I don’t have much wisdom about these things, but you know who did?
D: Where are you going with this?
K: The Three Wise Men!
D: No
K: The word wise is built right into their name, so let’s look at their presents.
D: Ok, they brought gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh
K: Let’s start with the first one Gold
Midas Touch (Passing balls as they turn to gold)
K: Clearly we’re on to something. Girls clearly like jewelry and gold. Now that you have the Midas touch you gonna do great with ladies.
D: Whatever.
K: Number two, Frankincense. What do you know about it?
D: Nothing really.
K: Come on, we need something.
D: It sounds like Frankenstein.
K: Perfect, and what was Frankenstein.
D: He was like a giant monster thing that was made from lots of different peoples body parts.
K: Let’s do it.
D: What?
K: Let’s make a giant from other people’s body parts. OK, everybody we are going to need some volunteers.
Over at the Frankenstein’s Place (Five Ball – replace ladder with stack of volunteers)
D: What was I supposed to learn from that?
K: That’s the date. You take her to a scary movie, she gets scared, and you get to be like the big strong man.
D: Ok, let’s just get through this, what do you have for the last wise man? He gave myrrh.
K: Yes he did, he was the myrrh…. Man. And even though I don’t know anything about myrrh, I am an expert on mermen and mermaids.
D: No you are not.
K: Last time I went to the beach, I saw a mermaid.
D: No you didn’t.
K: Sure I did, I was playing with a beach ball, throwing Frisbee, and all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, there she was a mermaid.
D: There is no way that’s true.
K: Come on man, do you have anything better for Myrrh.
Under The Sea (Frisbees and Big Balls)
K: So, clearly there are two lessons there. One, the mermaid showed up because I was having fun, and two girls love Disney musicals.
D: So you are saying the keys to getting a girl, “as learned from the three wise men” are jewelry, scary movies, fun, and musicals.
K: Exactly, now all we got to do is find you a girl. Have you met anyone lately?
D: As a matter of fact I met a girl earlier today.
K: No way, so did I.
(We describe the girl we met. It is clearly the same girl volunteer from the Frankenstein Stack )
Sound guy: Are you guys serious? Don’t you see what’s happening?
DK: No
M: Let me give you a hint.
Same Girl (Clubs) this needs to be edited
K: What do you think our music guy meant by playing that song?
D: I don’t know let’s think about the lyrics.
DK: same girl, same girl,
D: What a sec, who was the girl you were talking about.
K: I was talking about Sally from the the Frankenstein part.
D: That’s who I was talking about.
DK: Dibbs
K: There’s only one way to settle this. Lets Duel.
D you’re on.
Duel (Sticks)
D: Ha-ha. I win now I am going to make my move
Sally I Love You or The Girl Is Mine (Stealing Routine)
(We're fighting over the balls, and in the end we both get a ball and sign it to give it to her)
D: We’ve had a lot of fun tonight but no juggling show is complete without what.
Finale (Plungers)
K: … and we are so excited for our Christmas Show. What should we do first?
D: I’m pretty sure that “Joyful Joyful” is the closest thing we have to a Christmas song, so we might as well start there.
Joyful Joyful (Chinese Yo-yo)
K: Now, I’m pretty sure we can do better than that.
D: What are you talking about I thought it was fine.
K: Yeah, but surely we can do something a little more Christmas-y. Come on pick out your favorite Christmas song.
D: Ok, this has been in my head lately
Please Come Home for Christmas (Cigar Boxes)
K: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, what are you doing? We can’t do a show based on the idea of being sad and alone at Christmas. We need something upbeat.
D: Yeah, I know, but it’s just that this is the worst time of year to be single.
K: Lightbulb! I know what we are going to do. We are going to kill two birds with one stone.
D: huh?
K: I am going to teach you how to meet a girl in a Christmas-y way.
D: That makes no sense. First off, you don’t know anything more about girls than me.
K: True, I don’t have much wisdom about these things, but you know who did?
D: Where are you going with this?
K: The Three Wise Men!
D: No
K: The word wise is built right into their name, so let’s look at their presents.
D: Ok, they brought gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh
K: Let’s start with the first one Gold
Midas Touch (Passing balls as they turn to gold)
K: Clearly we’re on to something. Girls clearly like jewelry and gold. Now that you have the Midas touch you gonna do great with ladies.
D: Whatever.
K: Number two, Frankincense. What do you know about it?
D: Nothing really.
K: Come on, we need something.
D: It sounds like Frankenstein.
K: Perfect, and what was Frankenstein.
D: He was like a giant monster thing that was made from lots of different peoples body parts.
K: Let’s do it.
D: What?
K: Let’s make a giant from other people’s body parts. OK, everybody we are going to need some volunteers.
Over at the Frankenstein’s Place (Five Ball – replace ladder with stack of volunteers)
D: What was I supposed to learn from that?
K: That’s the date. You take her to a scary movie, she gets scared, and you get to be like the big strong man.
D: Ok, let’s just get through this, what do you have for the last wise man? He gave myrrh.
K: Yes he did, he was the myrrh…. Man. And even though I don’t know anything about myrrh, I am an expert on mermen and mermaids.
D: No you are not.
K: Last time I went to the beach, I saw a mermaid.
D: No you didn’t.
K: Sure I did, I was playing with a beach ball, throwing Frisbee, and all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, there she was a mermaid.
D: There is no way that’s true.
K: Come on man, do you have anything better for Myrrh.
Under The Sea (Frisbees and Big Balls)
K: So, clearly there are two lessons there. One, the mermaid showed up because I was having fun, and two girls love Disney musicals.
D: So you are saying the keys to getting a girl, “as learned from the three wise men” are jewelry, scary movies, fun, and musicals.
K: Exactly, now all we got to do is find you a girl. Have you met anyone lately?
D: As a matter of fact I met a girl earlier today.
K: No way, so did I.
(We describe the girl we met. It is clearly the same girl volunteer from the Frankenstein Stack )
Sound guy: Are you guys serious? Don’t you see what’s happening?
DK: No
M: Let me give you a hint.
Same Girl (Clubs) this needs to be edited
K: What do you think our music guy meant by playing that song?
D: I don’t know let’s think about the lyrics.
DK: same girl, same girl,
D: What a sec, who was the girl you were talking about.
K: I was talking about Sally from the the Frankenstein part.
D: That’s who I was talking about.
DK: Dibbs
K: There’s only one way to settle this. Lets Duel.
D you’re on.
Duel (Sticks)
D: Ha-ha. I win now I am going to make my move
Sally I Love You or The Girl Is Mine (Stealing Routine)
(We're fighting over the balls, and in the end we both get a ball and sign it to give it to her)
D: We’ve had a lot of fun tonight but no juggling show is complete without what.
Finale (Plungers)
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