The Vetoed Christmas Show

Here it is, the Vetoed Christmas Show.   Before you read this and think I am completely insane, you should know what the goals for this show were.  Darren told me that he wanted some audience participation.  I assumed this would be little kid stuff, but Darren told me this would be for banquets, so audiences would be mostly adults.  I told him I didn’t have an idea for a participation bit for adults, and his suggestion was, “maybe do something with a girl.”  Without further ado,

The DKers’ Christmas Special

Intro stuff

K: … and we are so excited for our Christmas Show.  What should we do first?

D: I’m pretty sure that “Joyful Joyful” is the closest thing we have to a Christmas song, so we might as well start there.

Joyful Joyful (Chinese Yo-yo)

K:  Now, I’m pretty sure we can do better than that.

D:  What are you talking about I thought it was fine.

K: Yeah, but surely we can do something a little more Christmas-y.  Come on pick out your favorite Christmas song.

D: Ok, this has been in my head lately

 Please Come Home for Christmas (Cigar Boxes)

K:  Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, what are you doing? We can’t do a show based on the idea of being sad and alone at Christmas.  We need something upbeat.

D:  Yeah, I know, but it’s just that this is the worst time of year to be single.

K: Lightbulb! I know what we are going to do.  We are going to kill two birds with one stone.

D: huh?

K: I am going to teach you how to meet a girl in a Christmas-y  way.

D: That makes no sense. First off, you don’t know anything more about girls than me.

K: True, I don’t have much wisdom about these things, but you know who did?

D: Where are you going with this?

K: The Three Wise Men!

D: No

K: The word wise is built right into their name, so let’s look at their presents.

D: Ok, they brought gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh

K: Let’s start with the first one Gold

Midas Touch (Passing balls as they turn to gold)

K:  Clearly we’re on to something. Girls clearly like jewelry and gold. Now that you have the Midas touch you gonna do great with ladies.

D: Whatever.

K: Number two, Frankincense.  What do you know about it?

D: Nothing really.

K: Come on, we need something.

D: It sounds like Frankenstein.

K: Perfect, and what was Frankenstein.

D: He was like a giant monster thing that was made from lots of different peoples body parts.

K: Let’s do it.

D:  What?

K: Let’s make a giant from other people’s body parts.  OK, everybody we are going to need some volunteers.

Over at the Frankenstein’s Place (Five Ball – replace ladder with stack of volunteers)

D: What was I supposed to learn from that?

K: That’s the date. You take her to a scary movie, she gets scared, and you get to be like the big strong man.

D:  Ok, let’s just get through this, what do you have for the last wise man?  He gave myrrh.

K: Yes he did, he was the myrrh…. Man. And even though I don’t know anything about myrrh, I am an expert on mermen and mermaids.

D:  No you are not.

 K: Last time I went to the beach, I saw a mermaid.

D: No you didn’t.

K: Sure I did, I was playing with a beach ball, throwing Frisbee, and all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, there she was a mermaid.

D: There is no way that’s true.

K: Come on man, do you have anything better for Myrrh.

Under The Sea (Frisbees and Big Balls)

K: So, clearly there are two lessons there. One, the mermaid showed up because I was having fun, and two girls love Disney musicals.

D: So you are saying the keys to getting a girl, “as learned from the three wise men” are jewelry, scary movies, fun, and musicals.

K: Exactly, now all we got to do is find you a girl. Have you met anyone lately?

D: As a matter of fact I met a girl earlier today.

K: No way, so did I.

(We describe the girl we met. It is clearly the same girl volunteer from the Frankenstein Stack )

Sound guy: Are you guys serious? Don’t you see what’s happening?

DK: No

M: Let me give you a hint.

Same Girl (Clubs) this needs to be edited

K: What do you think our music guy meant by playing that song?

D: I don’t know let’s think about the lyrics.

DK:  same girl, same girl,

D: What a sec, who was the girl you were talking about.

K: I was talking about Sally from the the Frankenstein part.

D: That’s who I was talking about.

DK:  Dibbs

K: There’s only one way to settle this. Lets Duel.

D you’re on.

Duel (Sticks)

D: Ha-ha. I win now I am going to make my move

Sally I Love You or The Girl Is Mine (Stealing Routine)

(We're fighting over the balls, and in the end we both get a ball and sign it to give it to her)

D: We’ve had a lot of fun tonight but no juggling show is complete without what.

Finale (Plungers)